I grew up with the old school mentality that;"It was weak to speak up", "I'm a bloke ill be okay" but within a few months after discharging from the Army my mental health took a severe turn for the worse. I lost my will to live and became a liability to the people around me. I started heavily abusing alcohol and drugs, partying excessively risking my life by pushing my limits and just seeing how close to death I could come.

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I had given up all my will to live. Started using tattoos as a way of self therapy to feel the external pain as my inner child was crying out for help. I got involved with the wrong crowd and quicky got my self involved in criminal activities and found my self apart of an Outlaw Motorcycle Gang. As a direct result of my actions the person I was effecting the most was my daughter.

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It was time I had to pull my head in before I was no longer going to be alive on this earth. I had to take a big look at my self and change so many things I was doing. The first step was to change my mind set and hold my self accountable for all the things I was doing. I took my self self to see a Psychiatrist in Jan 2019. It was one of the hardest things I have done, I was sick in my stomach and had the feeling of I'm weak and worthless. Little did I know, I had already gotten my self off rock bottom, my healing journey had began, I was on the mend.

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I began initial treatment into my AuDHD and Depression and began taking medication for the first time. The medication again was only a bandaid for the true underlying issues I was facing. I spent the next 4 years looking deep within my soul, undergoing a massive Ego death. Several failed relationships and a massive shift in raising my consciousness to a higher frequency. I was under going a spiritual awakening and realigning back to my unique and authentic inner child.

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After a very long period of time, I managed to find inner peace, I finally had gotten my self out of the darkness. I managed to find ways to ground my self and to protect my energy, I started journaling and writing down my thoughts, clearing them from my mind and taking control of low vibrational emotions. I was able to find the balance of my masculine and feminine energy. I found balance of the light and the darkness I hold within. I no longer allowed negative thoughts to be in control of my life. I started doing positive affirmations and re programming my sub conscious as I slowly become my true and authentic self again.

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My personal goal now, is to spread as much awareness as I possible can around mental health. To pass on the knowledge and wisdom that has helped me battle my mental health. I want to help those who are currently fighting battles behind closed doors, that no one knows anything about. I want to act as a beacon of hope and a sign that you're not alone on this journey of inner healing. The light will always shine brighter then the darkness. you're not alone and I am Proud of you.

 

Two of my very close friends, departed this Earth, when they decided it was their time, their silent battle behind closed doors became too much, the darkness had taken over, they no longer could continue being in pain. Losing two people within such a short period of time, It was only six months. I saw the pain and suffering it caused our families, I watched people so close to me have their hearts broken. I wouldn't allow myself to be the third, I made it my mission to help as many others suffering in silence, to spread as much light as possible.

I completely understand their decisions and respect them highly for the decisions they both made. They will always be remembered for the positive influence they have had in my life. 

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Jack Anderson: 13 Oct 1993 - 08 Mar 2022. Aged 28

Will George Morrison: 07 Jan 1979  - 25 Dec 2022. Aged 43