DEPRESSION / PTSD
At Brother By Choice, we understand the devastating impact that depression can have on people’s lives. Our mission is to raise awareness, challenge stigmas, and provide support to those who are affected by Depression. I believe that by working together, we can create a community where people feel comfortable talking about their experiences and can access the help and resources they need. By raising the universal consciousness around mental health and normalising it being okay to be vulnerable, less people will be able to feel like they are not alone and wont continue to suffer in silence.
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I was diagnosed back in 2019 and have been managing it silently behind closed doors and keeping it as low key as possible. For many years I was being asked by people "how are you doing?" my response was always "Yeah im fine."
This lie I was telling everyone was easier, then telling the truth, I never wanted to be a burden, I new they had their own stuff going on. I thought no-one wants to hear about my unhealed trauma, or listen to bad karmic cycles I had just gone through. The Universe was testing me, lesson after lesson and it felt like I just could never get a break. Unfortunately for me I had to under go all of this pain, I new I was physically strong enough, I new I have the mental resilience to go through extreme duress. To be honest I thrive in extremely dangerous situations, I love pushing my limits and just seeing how much self torture I could but my self through. But the mental exhaustion got to me, I had to make the appropriate changes in my life, I new I had a bigger purpose in life, I had to alchemize this darkness and turn it into light.
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My mental health was my responsibility, I was more powerful then I was letting my self believe, if I wanted to change my life for the better I was the only person going to be able to achieve this. Seeking external ways to numb the pain, was only making it worse, consuming as much alcohol as possible was only making it worse. It numbed the feeling in that moment, but the several days after as I lacked dopamine and was so much worse. Things had to change for the absolute better, so it was time to embark on a massive ego death, go on a inner healing journey, start my spiritual journey and look deep within my soul. I had to get rid of all the low vibrational habits I had, to sit in silence and process my emotions and to seek gratitude and turn the darkness i had inside into light.
By changing my state of mind and perception on outside influences I was able to adopt the mindset that I am Darkness and I am Light in my life. If I was to start to believe the negative thoughts I was happening they become my reality. I would then attract the same frequency in the universe. By choosing Gratitude and positive thoughts it was amazing how quickly my mind set changed, I was finally in charge of my thoughts.
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At first one of the hardest things was self acknowledgement admitting I was the problem. Sitting in silence and really acknowledging all of my pain was difficult. To try and understand why I reacted to certain people and environments, understand all of the failed relationships, to acknowledge these people were only mirroring my low vibrational thoughts and beliefs. I was able to see and understand why I allowed others to treat me poorly, to not respect my boundaries. With a new positive outlook on life, an altered perception in raising my consciousness I was able to end Karmic cycles I was constantly repeating, over and over again. By truly walking into my power I was able to remember my worth, I started doing things that made my inner child happy, I started to truly start to love my self for the unique and beautiful soul I am.
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My mental health became a priority in my life, I wanted to life a life of Peace, no more drama just surround my self with people and places that were calming and drama free. To acknowledge when my body was telling me something was wrong, to not resort to old habits as a means of easy fixes. The moment I started to to stop my self having negative thoughts, to replace them with positive affirmations I reprogramed my conscious mind into the believing and seeing things positively.
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When a negative thought would come into my head, I would replace it with a simple affirmation.
I am Safe, I am Grounded, I am Protected, My thoughts are not who I am.
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Having the ability to not allow a thought, to grow into an emotion, then turn into a negative state of mind, develop into a mood and ruin my day/week/month. This simple early identification became so powerful into changing the outcome of my life. I would Journal my thoughts, get them onto paper and out of my head. Here I was able to logically dissect them and understand why I thought that way and replace it with new affirmations. Keeping everything bottled up, only made my brain tired and exhausted, being vulnerable and having people to talk too cleared my mind. It gave me the chance to be heard and communicate effectively and to welcome new people into my life.
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I started to adopt the 12 Universal Laws of Karma into my life, By raising my consciousness I increased my awareness and understanding of my needs, behaviors and attitudes.
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