I was made out to be an absolute monster all because I didn’t feel as it was right to stay together in a toxic relationship and raise a child in an environment like that. I knew what I had to do early on for my son’s sake and leave the relationship if I was ever going to show him that it’s okay to be loved in two households. 

 

I have personally seen this situation happen to so many others before me , now I have felt it myself . The family court system has plenty of flaws but the truth will always be shown in the end no matter who is at fault. 

 

I had my greatest heartbreak during 2020-2021. In which after conducting mediation 4 separate times, it led to a court appearance 6 months from when the mediation had occurred and through that period, I had absolutely no contact with my son. It took me to the breaking point and in the darkest hole I had ever made. No person could bring me back from that. I had my chest torn open and the reason it beats stripped from it. 

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It absolutely broke my heart, I have never ever felt a pain like having no contact with my son. I never want anyone to ever experience that sort of pain in their lives. I would sit at work not knowing if I would see him again, what bad things is he being told about me, I just want to give my son a hug, kiss and tell him that I love him, its going to be okay, have faith, I will see you soon.

 

I finally got my day in court and because of the mandatory backwards court system, fathers are all evil until proven other wise, 6 months I haven't seen my son and now they issued me with 8 Mandatory super vised visits. Of course they were on the terms of the mother and were another financial hurdle in the way of being actively involved in my child's life.

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To be honest these supervised visits was one of the most traumatic experiences I have ever felt, I felt so uncomfortable and just couldn't relax, my anxiety was through the roof and I was made to feel so uncomfortable by a stranger who was now commenting on whether I was suitable to be alone with my son. My parenting abilities were never at question until I decided to no longer follow what my wanted.

I was left feeling so heart broken at the end of each visit, again feeling like a piece of my heart was torn out, just leaving me feeling down for days after. 

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I felt as though my child was being used like a pawn piece, just for my ex to be able to get back at me. The love I have for my child is unconditional, all I want is for him to be happy, feel loved and know his Dad loves him unconditionally. No matter the false allegations, his smile and laughter was enough to keep me going.

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By the end of my 8 supervised visits a report was written and issued it to the courts. I have never been so nervous about what a stranger had to say about my parenting, I knew I was a good Dad, I was just another victim of the family courts.

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Fast forward to today. I now have my son on the weekends and I’ve spent copious amounts of money, I guess the moral to the story is never give up on the young minds that need you, they need your kindness and support. Kids need their Dads and I am so grateful that I found the strength to keep on going and I am actively involved in my child's life today.